"IT" in the office.......

Ok, where was I? Oh yes, I was about to tell you about "it", otherwise known as Denise. But first let me go back a few short months. I started this job in January - it is now June. That's not a long time, but it's long enough for this fucking place! I hate it here!!! And this would be some people's dream job. I get paid good money and I barely have to do anything. In other words, I barely have anything to do!!!! Some people would be happy to sit here on their ass all day and get paid for it. I, however, cannot stand it. I am the type of person that does not do well with too much time on their hands. I start thinking of devious little tricks to play on everyone, like the time I cut out a picture of a gay hillbilly, found on the internet, in the shape of a heart and tacked it to one of the salesmen's bulletin board. Now, other people probably would have noticed, but this guy is SEVERELY A.D.D. and doesn't notice shit!!!! Our office is very busy and the people who you would find here are buying big ticket items and for the most part, they are pretty serious. This bulletin board is right over his head so when he has people sitting at his desk, this picture is pretty prominant. It was there for 3 of the busiest days I have seen in this place before one of the other guys felt sorry for him and took it down. I shouldn't pick on him, but he really brought it all on himself. You see, for a retard, he has a pretty quick wit - and he's funny too! But for some reason, he just got on my bad side. I dunno, maybe he made some smart-ass comment about me and everyone laughed, or maybe he talked down to me one day, or maybe I'm just feel threatened because I'M the funny one around here! Anyways, the dumb-ass tries getting me back by removing the cord from my phone, putting scotch tape around the end, and plugging it back in. So when I go to answer the phone........nothing. Well what the fuck do you think is the first thing you're gonna check if your phone was fine 3 minutes ago and now it suddenly isn't? DUH! It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure this one out. You ad me confused for all of oh, maybe 2 seconds? Great payback for the 3 DAYS of snickering and funny looks and such that you couldn't figure out. Ya really got me didn't you? Well, now it's on! I waited until he was out with a customer and I took 40 styrofoam cups and put them all on his desk. I then stapled them together and filled them up with water. Oh, it was priceless! And so worth the ass-chewing I got for it! So I can't wait to see how the moron tries to get me back. He'll probably remove my staples or something.........So anyways, I really did fit right in at first here but that didn't last long. My boss made me all these promises when he hired me and has yet to follow through. He keeps telling me to be patient, and I keep asking him to be honest - it's a vicious circle. Here's what the deal is: I got hired to answer the phones and do some other stuff around here that basically any ignoramus could do (well, A.D.D. boy might have a tough go of it). My boss asked me if I would be interested in the sales position since I do have an extensive sales background. Well, I told him I would like to see what the company is all about first since I was pretty burned-out on all the unethical sales practices in my last jobs. Once I got in and I saw what this company was about, I decided that I would be wasting my talent answering phones and that I would be stupid to pass up the opportunity. We set a target date of April for me to go to training. Next thing I know, my boss is telling me that he is a little behind schedule and he had hoped to have another salesperson up and running before I transitioned. Ok, I can deal with that, as long as I know that I still have the opportunity and he hasn't changed his mind about me (which he assured me was NOT the case). Just be patient he says I won't lead you astray. Ok, I have had guys tell me to trust them before and this sends up HUGE red flags and sirens (which I chose to ignore by the way). Well pretty soon there are 2 more guys hired, and I'm no mathemetician or anything, but we already have 3 salespeople and 5 offices. With 2 more guys, that pretty much takes up all available office space. So I ask him, "have you changed your mind?" - PERFECT opportunity for him to tell me the truth right? you would think so anyways. But no, he tells me (and I am not making this up) that they are going to build an addition on to the end of the building and my office will be in there. Now, if I had heard this story in relation to someone else, I would have laughed my ass off! But this is me here and I have this fuck face looking me straight in the eye and expecting me to believe this shit and I AM PISSED! Well things pretty much took a turn for the worse at this particular point and I lost it! Long story short, he offered me a promotion because one f the other girls is leaving. He TOLD me that she had found another job and that I would get a $1.50 raise for taking on her position. Ok, great! I'll take that! Yeah, I'm pumped now and really looking forward to this new position. I tell EVERYONE that I'm getting promoted! I'm walking on cloud nine for days! Then.........BLAM!!!! Reality hits! She's not quitting!!!! What the fuck.....? He has no explanation other than he "thought" she was quitting. I said "you mean she didn't say anything? You offered me her job on a hunch?" Well, that's all the explaining I get. So here I sit - 2 major letdowns in the space of 5 short months, not to mention how they intentionally leave me out of everything. They are such a tight knit little family here and they all have their heads up Denise's ass so far it's pitiful! But, I have to try to tell you about her when I get a chance next week............